Tourist attraction

2018-06-20 · 첨삭 강사 Eunice

학생이 쓴 원문

As each individual have a different characteristics and tastes, popular tourist attraction may appears differently to the case. I want to present popular tourist attraction for students. In the case of students, they prefer the trip to Seoul or Jeonju. It is a kind of fashion to go to those cities with friends in a vacation. Seoul is the center of culture in korea, so there are a lot of attractions in there. But, many student tourist love to shop at Gangnam shopping multiplex and go to a picnic on the Hangang river. Jeonju is famous for their Hanok village and the Catholic Church which is constructed first in Korea. These are good places to take selfies. Many groups of friends and couples book the train to Jeonju and borrow Hanbok to wear during the trip. Jeonju is also famous for its iconic street food, so many low-budgeted trips of students are often towards Jeonju.

강사 첨삭

This is exciting, [이름]!

I bet Korea is a picturesque country, so many people are dreaming about going there. Your country is very rich in culture and it has been a big influencer in fashion nowadays. I personally would like to visit Korea someday, so wait for me there. Thanks for sharing this piece with me. See  you!^^


~Teacher Eunice

As each individual have a different characteristics and tastes, popular tourist attraction may appears differently to the case.

>>> As each individual has a different characteristic and taste, popular tourist attractions may appear differently in that case.  

I want to present popular tourist attraction for students.
>>>
I want to present some popular tourist attractions to students. 

In the case of students, they prefer the trip to Seoul or Jeonju.

>>> In the case of students, they prefer going on a trip to Seoul or Jeonju.

It is a kind of fashion to go to those cities with friends in a vacation.

>>> It is a kind of fashion to go to those cities with friends for a vacation.

Seoul is the center of culture in korea, so there are a lot of attractions in there.

>>> Seoul is the center of the culture in Korea, so there are a lot of attractions in there.

But, many student tourist love to shop at Gangnam shopping multiplex and go to a picnic on the Hangang river.

>>> But, many tourists love to shop at Gangnam shopping multiplex and go on a picnic at Hangang river.

Jeonju is famous for their Hanok village and the Catholic Church which is constructed first in Korea.

>>> Jeonju is famous for their Hanok village and the Catholic Church which is first constructed in Korea. 

These are good places to take selfies.

>>> Correct!

Many groups of friends and couples book the train to Jeonju and borrow Hanbok to wear during the trip.

>>> Correct! 

Jeonju is also famous for its iconic street food, so many low-budgeted trips of students are often towards Jeonju.

>>> Jeonju is also famous for its iconic street foods, so there are many low-budgeted students\' trips in Jeonju.  

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