TRAVELLING 5,6

2019-08-30 · 첨삭 강사 Oneil

학생이 쓴 원문

5. I think the most benefit thing of travelling is we can deal with our stress. It can be helpful escaping our real world a moment. It always fun and good to experience new cultures and different taste. Also, by seeing things that we have never seen before we can recharge energy. 6. Many people live with a lot of workload and they have stress. They need something reducing stress. So, nowadays they usually go to abroad. They are completely relaxed and see beautiful places, it opens our minds. Also, these days transportation technology is really developed, so we can move to other countries easier. 1. I have enough friends need to me. That\'s because, my friends character are really kind and well matched mine. When I was fight with my parents They anytime listened my problem and give some advice. Moreover, I have several best friends, they always understand me if My emotion is not so good. Sometimes there are conflict with me and friends, but we can deal with problem by talking.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for this once again. ^^


5. I think the most benefit thing of travelling is we can deal with our stress.

>>  I think the most important benefit of travel is that we can relieve our stress.


 It can be helpful escaping our real world a moment.

>> It can help escape our real world for a moment.


 It always fun and good to experience new cultures and different taste.

>>  It is always fun and good to experience new cultures and different taste.


 Also, by seeing things that we have never seen before we can recharge energy.

>>  Also, by seeing things that we have never seen before we can recharge our energy.


 6. Many people live with a lot of workload and they have stress.

>>  6. Many people lives with a lot of workloads and they are usually stressed.


They need something reducing stress.

>> They need to relieve their stress.


So, nowadays they usually go to abroad.

>> So, nowadays they usually go abroad.


They are completely relaxed and see beautiful places, it opens our minds.

>> They completely relax when they see beautiful sceneries, it opens their minds.


 Also, these days transportation technology is really developed, so we can move to other countries easier. 

>> Correct.



 1. I have enough friends need to me.

>> I have enough friends to keep me company.


That\'s because, my friends character are really kind and well matched mine.

>> My friends character is the same as mine. We get along well.


When I was fight with my parents They anytime listened my problem and give some advice.

>> When Ifight with my parents, they listen and give advices to me.


Moreover, I have several best friends, they always understand me if My emotion is not so good.

>> Moreover, I have several best friends who always understands me even if my mood is not so good.


Sometimes there are conflict with me and friends, but we can deal with problem by talking.

>> Sometimes,  my friends and I fight too. But since we are close, we can deal with it with just talking to each other.



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