TV and computer game.

2020-04-02 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

It is apparent that TV and computer games have a great impact on people enjoying them, causing misbehavior such as addiction, violence, and sexual harassment in many cases. However, I believe that what makes abhorrent situations regarding the use of those appliances is a person unable to control himself or herself, neither machines nor programs. A variety of TV shows and video games provides people with lots of delight, relaxation, and refreshment if appreciated properly. In fact, we can easily find a number of people saying that watching TV helps them to unwind, alleviating their tension caused by daily tasks. This proves the individual responsibility plays a key role when it comes to spending one\'s free time with a TV or a computer. In other words, we should deal with the social problems associated with the misuse of those devices by giving clear instructions to the users rather than attributing it to the gadgets. It would be the right way, given rapid developments of the industry.

강사 첨삭

Hi Drexel! Thank you for this homework. I appreciate the effort! ^ ^
Well done! Precise and neat composition. ^ ^
I agree without any doubt. Proper guidance from parents or adults for that matter should also be part of the equation in dealing with this situation. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

It is apparent that TV and computer games have a great impact on people enjoying them, causing misbehavior such as addiction, violence, and sexual harassment in many cases.
 
>>CORRECT
However, I believe that what makes abhorrent situations regarding the use of those appliances is a person unable to control himself or herself, neither machines nor programs. 
>>CORRECT
A variety of TV shows and video games provides people with lots of delight, relaxation, and refreshment if appreciated properly. 
>>A variety of TV shows and video games provide people with lots of delight, relaxation, and refreshment if appreciated properly. 
In fact, we can easily find a number of people saying that watching TV helps them to unwind, alleviating their tension caused by daily tasks. 
>>CORRECT
This proves the individual responsibility plays a key role when it comes to spending one\'s free time with a TV or a computer. 
>>CORRECT
In other words, we should deal with the social problems associated with the misuse of those devices by giving clear instructions to the users rather than attributing it to the gadgets. 
>>CORRECT
It would be the right way, given rapid developments of the industry.
>>CORRECT

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