Universities should spend as much money on sports as they do on libraries
학생이 쓴 원문
Some people think it is worthier to spend money on libraries rather than on sports. But, in my opinion, spending money on sports is more valuable than spending money on libraries because sports are great tool for making friends in university and make people healthier.
First of all, sports are great tool for making friends. Students can easily become closer with other people by physical contacting. When i was in soccer club in Yonsei university in 2016, i can make many friends easily by soccer and i still contact with them constantly. Even when i need some help with my project, i can use my human network made by soccer activities.
Second, Sports makes people healthier. Nowadays, health is one of the big issues in the world. I can sure that doing some sports are far more healthier than studying in libraries which is sedentary thing. Sports will strengthen your bones and muscles.
For this reasons, i agree that universities have to spend their money on sports rather than libraries.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름] ,
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Universities should spend as much money on sports as they do on libraries
Some people think it is worthier to spend money on libraries rather than on sports.
>>> CORRECT
But, in my opinion, spending money on sports is more valuable than spending money on libraries because sports are great tool for making friends in university and make people healthier.
>>> But, in my opinion, spending money on sports is more valuable than spending money on libraries because sports are a great tool for making friends in university and it makes people healthier.
First of all, sports are great tool for making friends.
First of all, sports are great tool for making friends.
>>> First of all, sports are a great tool for making friends.
Students can easily become closer with other people by physical contacting.
>>> Students can easily become closer with other people through physical contact.
When i was in soccer club in Yonsei university in 2016, i can make many friends easily by soccer and i still contact with them constantly.
>>> When I was in the soccer club at Yonsei University in 2016, I made a lot of friends easily by playing soccer and I still contact with them constantly.
Even when i need some help with my project, i can use my human network made by soccer activities.
>>> Even when I need some help with my project, I can use my human network made by my soccer activities.
Second, Sports makes people healthier.
Second, Sports makes people healthier.
>>> Second, sports make people healthier.
Nowadays, health is one of the big issues in the world.
>>> Nowadays, health is one of the biggest issues in the world.
I can sure that doing some sports are far more healthier than studying in libraries which is sedentary thing.
>>> I am sure that doing some sports are far healthier than studying in libraries which is a sedentary thing.
Sports will strengthen your bones and muscles.
>>> CORRECT
For this reasons, i agree that universities have to spend their money on sports rather than libraries.
For this reasons, i agree that universities have to spend their money on sports rather than libraries.
>>> For these reasons, I agree that universities have to spend their money on sports rather than libraries.
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