Using cellphone may be making people more connected.
학생이 쓴 원문
Cellphone is very convienient machine.
In old times there used to be only a mechanic phone.
I think I need a cellphone.
I use my phone when I am idle.
I usually use my cellphone to stay in touch with people.
Thanks for reading.
Bye.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]. Great job in doing your homework. Keep it up!^_^
Cellphone is very convienient machine.
>>>A cellphone is a very convenient device.
In old times there used to be only a mechanic phone.
>>>In old times, there used to be only a mechanical phone.
OR>>In the old days, there used to be only mechanical phones.
I usually use my cellphone to stay in touch with people.
>>>CORRECT!
OR>>> I usually use my cellphone to keep in touch with other people.
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