Video game.
학생이 쓴 원문
The repercussions of video game could be divergent as it is enjoyed by a number of different people. Video game itself is merely a creature of the contemporary society in which people are witnessing rapid growth of the gaming industry, thanks to relevant technologies. Though there are many issues that concern some negative side effects of the prevalent computerized entertainments such as the problem of addiction and the violence of those games, it is a matter of people who create and enjoy them. Like other technology-related troubles, it is fundamentally about how people are able to take advantage of those games. One can relieve his or her stress by enjoying a video game properly, while the other may end up with more damage. Therefore, it is crucial to give clear instructions for the users not to overdo video games and about the aftermath of game addiction. Besides, governments should keep an eye on corporations that are likely to produce more violent games to get people\'s attention.
강사 첨삭
Hi Drexel! Thank you so much for this thoughts. I really appreciate the effort. ^ ^
Point well taken! I definitely agree with you! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>CORRECT (*video games)
Video game itself is merely a creature of the contemporary society in which people are witnessing rapid growth of the gaming industry, thanks to relevant technologies.
>>CORRECT
Though there are many issues that concern some negative side effects of the prevalent computerized entertainments such as the problem of addiction and the violence of those games, it is a matter of people who create and enjoy them.
>>CORRECT
Like other technology-related troubles, it is fundamentally about how people are able to take advantage of those games.
>>CORRECT
One can relieve his or her stress by enjoying a video game properly, while the other may end up with more damage.
>>CORRECT
Therefore, it is crucial to give clear instructions for the users not to overdo video games and about the aftermath of game addiction.
>>CORRECT (or give clear recommendations)
Besides, governments should keep an eye on corporations that are likely to produce more violent games to get people\'s attention.
>>CORRECT
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