violence
학생이 쓴 원문
Everyone feels diverse emotions as joy, depression, anger, shame and fear etc.
So I thinkthat it is very important to teach students by education how to control our emotions .
We empasize never to use violence in school even any situation.
When the violence occurs, we call and investigate all of involved students.
If the case is serious, we call parents, do advice and take action.
강사 첨삭
Hello there Ms. [이름]!
Thank you as always for your effort of expressing yourself in a written way. I understand that you are quite busy that is why I really appreciate your passion and diligence.
Have a great day :)
Aki~
Everyone feels diverse emotions as joy, depression, anger, shame and fear etc.
>>> Everyone feels diverse emotions like joy, depression, anger, shame, and fear, etc.
So I think that it is very important to teach students by education how to control our emotions.
>>> Correct!
We emphasize never to use violence in school even any situation.
>>>We emphasize never to use violence in school even in any situation.
When the violence occurs, we call and investigate all of involved students.
>>> When the violence occurs, we call and investigate all of the involved students.
If the case is serious, we call parents, do advice and take action.
>>> Correct!
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