What activities in your school do you like the most and why?

2020-09-08 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

I used to say that I wanted to be a wizard before I went to school. I cannot remember why I did that, but I might want to get a lot of toys and cookies, and I might have thought I could make them by myself, without nagging my mother.  After I entered elementary school, I realized that the wizard is not real, and I thought that it would be better to be a scientist who can create everything I want. Several years later, though I could know that having much money is much better than creating my wannabe things, I still liked learning science. A lot of difficult theories and formulas could not let me get some visible things, but made me know the secrets of the world. I felt that I learnt kind of spells to explain how the world operates and to expect how this changes. Nonetheless, in my university, I finally realized that these spells are too profound to understand with my ability, so I had to give up my dream and just got a job right after my graduation.

강사 첨삭

Thank you [이름]!

I used to say that I wanted to be a wizard before I went to school. 
>>CORRECT!
I cannot remember why I did that, but I might want to get a lot of toys and cookies, and I might have thought I could make them by myself, without nagging my mother. 
>>I cannot remember why I did that, but I might want to get a lot of toys and cookies, and I might have thought I could make them by myself, without my mother nagging.
After I entered elementary school, I realized that the wizard is not real, and I thought that it would be better to be a scientist who can create everything I want.
>>CORRECT!
Several years later, though I could know that having much money is much better than creating my wannabe things, I still liked learning science. 
>>CORRECT!
A lot of difficult theories and formulas could not let me get some visible things, but made me know the secrets of the world. 
>>CORRECT!
I felt that I learnt kind of spells to explain how the world operates and to expect how this changes.
>>CORRECT!
Nonetheless, in my university, I finally realized that these spells are too profound to understand with my ability, so I had to give up my dream and just got a job right after my graduation.
>>CORRECT!

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·