What are the bad sides of being overweight? What are the things that a person needs to do in order t
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Nice explanation, Elic. However, I noticed that your included some extra articles such as ‘a’ or ‘that’, that are somewhat misplaced. Try to review my corrections here just like the first one, I included “that come with” because you need to explain the consequences of being overweight. So as the other items. Please take note of my corrections so you can apply them in future homework.
Teacher Raven :)
Well, I guess there are many things that being overweight.
>> Well, I guess there are many things that come with being overweight.
You can get a cancer easily and will die too.
>> You can get cancer and have shorter lifespan.
If you want to lose your weight, The motivation that you must have is in order to do that.
>> If you want to lose weight, the motivation that you much have is how to avoid have such illnesses.
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