What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do you think should it be lessened?

2021-11-18 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

In schools, I think there are many cyber bullyings and cyber bullying is the most common crime in South Korea. First, a lot of people don\'t know that they are doing cyber bullying or not. Even some people don\'t know that cyber bullying is crime. So nowadays, many students are experiencing cyber bullyings and they feel painful. Also a lot of celebrities are getting pain because of some bad comments about them. It is very serious crime but we can\'t find them and it is hard to judge them so I think it is the worst. I think cyber bullyings are the most common crime nowadays, and we have to be careful in cyber world.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]:)

Yes, that\'s true. Cyberbullying is a very serious crime that. Everyone can be a victim so we have to be vigilant about it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In schools, I think there are many cyber bullyings and cyber bullying is the most common crime in South Korea.
> >In schools, I think there are many cyber bullying cases. It is a common crime in South Korea. 

First, a lot of people don\'t know that they are doing cyber bullying or not.
>> First, a lot of people don\'t know if they are committing cyber bullying or not.

Even some people don\'t know that cyber bullying is crime.
>> CORRECT

So nowadays, many students are experiencing cyber bullyings and they feel painful.
>> So nowadays, many students are experiencing this and get hurt a lot. 

Also a lot of celebrities are getting pain because of some bad comments about them.
>> Also, a lot of celebrities are getting hurt because of some bad comments about them.

It is very serious crime but we can\'t find them and it is hard to judge them so I think it is the worst.
>> It is a very serious crime but we can\'t find who they are and it is take actions about it, which makes it worst. 

I think cyber bullyings are the most common crime nowadays, and we have to be careful in cyber world.
>> I think cyber bullying is one of the most common crime nowadays, and we have to be careful about it. 

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