What are the five things you have on your bucket list?

2021-12-08 · 첨삭 강사 Maine

학생이 쓴 원문

First, I want to try extreme sports like sky diving, bungee jump, and Paragliding. Whenever I saw it anywhere, I\'am a little scared but I think it\'ll be fun, so I\'d really like to try them if I have a chance. Second, I want to travel abroad with my family. At this time, there are conditions, it is not with Koreans on a package trip so with only our family, and use an English country. because, I transfer with others people and being a tour guide for my family. Third, I want to drink and play overnight with my friends. because, I have a curfew, I can\'t experience this time in 20 years. Then, I want to watch any performance like musical at Opera house in Sydney. because, Opera house is one of my favorite structure. and also I like to watch a musical, play, and drama too, Finally, This is the goal I want to achieve in my college, that I want to go to an exchange student. So, I experience culture of other country and also i want to make foreign friends.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름] [이름]!
Your answer is nice.  It\'s good you have explained your answer in detail.  Keep it up! :)

-T. Maine

First, I want to try extreme sports like sky diving, bungee jump, and Paragliding. 
>>First, I want to try some extreme sports such as sky diving, bungee jumping, and paragliding. 
Whenever I saw it anywhere, I\'am a little scared but I think it\'ll be fun, so I\'d really like to try them if I have a chance.
>>Whenever I see it anywhere, I\'m a little scared but I think it\'ll be fun.  So I\'d really like to try them if I have a chance. 
Second, I want to travel abroad with my family. 
>>Correct. 
At this time, there are conditions, it is not with Koreans on a package trip so with only our family, and use an English country. 
>>This time, there are some conditions.  I would like to travel to an English country on a package trip. 
because, I transfer with others people and being a tour guide for my family.
>>It is because I will be with my family members and I will be a tour guide for them. 
Third, I want to drink and play overnight with my friends. 
>>Correct. 
because, I have a curfew, I can\'t experience this time in 20 years.
>>I have a curfew and I can\'t experience this time in 20 years. 
Then, I want to watch any performance like musical at Opera house in Sydney. 
>>Then I want to watch a performance like a musical in an Opera house in Sydney. 
because, Opera house is one of my favorite structure. 
>>The Opera house is one of my favorite structures in Australia. 
and also I like to watch a musical, play, and drama too,
>>In addition, I like to watch musical plays and dramas, too. 
Finally, This is the goal I want to achieve in my college, that I want to go to an exchange student. 
>>Finally, this is the goal that I want to achieve in my college life.  I want to be an exchange student. 
So, I experience culture of other country and also i want to make foreign friends.
>>So that I could experience the culture of another country and I want to make friends with foreigners. 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·