What are the positive ways some people choose to deal with stress?

2019-10-29 · 첨삭 강사 Matt

학생이 쓴 원문

There are numerous ways to release stress depending on habits and characteristics. Some of them would be really helpful physically and mentally, but some others might have bad of unwilling effect to people to do. I would like to write about this with my knowledge that is not a view of an expert though. To begin with positive part, first of all, sleeping might be good action of stress relief. It could be the simplest way not only to reduce body pain, but also to forget worries. In addition, having a little time to do something that not is related with problems, and relax mind. For example, talk with colleagues or friends during break time, and especially, exercising could be good for refreshing. These activities might sometimes make you find solutions of problems or get energy or again focus on your tasks.

강사 첨삭

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T. Matt
There are numerous ways to release stress depending on habits and characteristics.
>>Correct
Some of them would be really helpful physically and mentally, but some others might have bad of unwilling effect to people to do. 
>>Some of them would be really helpful physically and mentally, but some others might have bad and unwilling effect to people.
I would like to write about this with my knowledge that is not a view of an expert though.
>>I would like to write about this with my knowledge, which is not a view of an expert, though.
>>I would like to write about this with my knowledge, though it is not a view of an expert.
To begin with positive part, first of all, sleeping might be good action of stress relief.
>>To begin with the positive part, first of all, sleeping might be a good action of stress relief.
It could be the simplest way not only to reduce body pain, but also to forget worries.
>>Correct
In addition, having a little time to do something that not is related with problems, and relax mind. 
>>In addition, having a little time to do something that not is related with problems, and to relax our mind. 
For example, talk with colleagues or friends during break time, and especially, exercising could be good for refreshing.
>>Correct
These activities might sometimes make you find solutions of problems or get energy or again focus on your tasks.
>>These activities might sometimes help make you find solutions to problems or get energy or again focus on your tasks.

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