What are the unhealthy aspects of spending too much time on the phone/internet?

2018-04-11 · 첨삭 강사 Gracelyn

학생이 쓴 원문

I'm spending too much time on the phone and internet Especially the phone is very easy access to the internet for get various information. When I'm working with a computer all most day it makes getting wors for my eyes but I have to use a computer it's very important for my job.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]! Thank you very much for sending in your composition. Please take note of the corrections and feel free to ask questions in class.
T. Gracelyn

I\'m spending too much time on the phone and internet.
>>correct
>>I spend too much time using my phone.

Especially the phone is very easy access to the internet for get various information.
>>It is easy to access the internet using our phones to get various information.
When I\'m working with a computer all most day it makes getting wors for my eyes but I have to use a computer it\'s very important for my job.
>>When I\'m working in front of a computer, it makes my eyes\'s condition worst but I have to use it because it is very important for my job.

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