What are your greatest achievements?

2021-08-02 · 첨삭 강사 Maine

학생이 쓴 원문

My recently greatest achievement about my major is the minister of environment award which is top prize of Integrated environmental management competition. Environmental management can\'t be taken separately, because contents (air, water, ground, biosphere) effect each other. The government thought the Integrated management is needed and made the way and program before some years. Korea environment corporation which is a government institute started this contest to make future experts. I was team leader, and my team spent summer vacation to take this project. We performed new program ourselves finding how to use, and made integrated structure of treated processes. It was very difficult, but our enough conversation and understanding each other made our project to be successful. Others are supporters activity of K-water, the prize of another environmental contest, great score of school, and etc.. I want to make my every moment be achievements. I love challenges, so I can\'t stop always.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!

Thanks for your answer.  I hope you read the corrections and practice them with your heart and mind. :)


-T. Maine   


My recently greatest achievement about my major is the minister of environment award which is top prize of Integrated environmental management competition.

>>My recent greatest achievement in my major is being awarded as the minister of environment which is a top prize of the competition in the Integrated Environmental Management.
 Environmental management can\'t be taken separately, because contents (air, water, ground, biosphere) effect each other.

>>Environmental management can\'t be taken separately because the components such as air, water, ground, and biosphere affect each other.
 The government thought the Integrated management is needed and made the way and program before some years.

>>The government thought the Integrated Management is needed, so they made a way to improve the program for some years.
 Korea environment corporation which is a government institute started this contest to make future experts.

>>Correct!

>>OR: Korea environmental corporation which is a government institute started this contest to build future experts.
 I was team leader, and my team spent summer vacation to take this project. 

>>I was a team leader and my team spent our summer vacation for this project.
 We performed new program ourselves finding how to use, and made integrated structure of treated processes.

>>We performed new progrmas ourselves finding how to use and make integrated structures of treated processes.
 It was very difficult, but our enough conversation and understanding each other made our project to be successful.

>>It was really a tough work.  However, through our communication and understanding with each other, our project was a sucess.
 Others are supporters activity of K-water, the prize of another environmental contest, great score of school, and etc..

>>Others support certain activities such as K-water, the prize of another environmental contest, having a great score at school, and many more.
 I want to make my every moment be achievements. I love challenges, so I can\'t stop always.

>>I want to make every moment of my life to be full of achievements.  I love challenges, so I can\'t stop myself from moving forward towards success.


파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·