What can transform your business to a higher level?
학생이 쓴 원문
I would like to write about my previous job, and there were some elements to improve my business level.
Firstly, technical knowledge, as an engineer, would be very important. From the working process of equipment, knowing feasibilities of the engineering designs, and to trouble shootings on the site, I should learn from job experiences and a lot of documents. Though I would promote to a team leader, who does not work on the field directly, I might still need these know-how to control projects and human resources.
Secondary, the management skill for budgets and time of the project would be also important. The company, I worked, that pursuits its profit, so my knowledge should be utilized through the most efficient way. Moreover, this ability would be getting focused, if I promoted as a senior.
Finally, communication skill would be required to be a good businessman. Every work was operated by all staff. Therefore, without cooperation with colleagues, I could not make the project succeed.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]! Thank you for sending your corrections in, Have a good day ahead!
T. Matt
I would like to write about my previous job, and there were some elements to improve my business level.
>>I would like to write about my previous job and some elements to improve my business level.
Firstly, technical knowledge, as an engineer, would be very important.
Firstly, technical knowledge, as an engineer, would be very important.
>>Correct
From the working process of equipment, knowing feasibilities of the engineering designs, and to trouble shootings on the site, I should learn from job experiences and a lot of documents.
>>From the working process of equipment, knowing feasibility of the engineering designs, and to troubleshooting on the site, I should learn from job experiences and a lot of documents.
Though I would promote to a team leader, who does not work on the field directly, I might still need these know-how to control projects and human resources.
>>Though, if promoted to a team leader who does not work on the field directly, I might still need these know-how to control projects and human resources.
Secondary, the management skill for budgets and time of the project would be also important.
Secondary, the management skill for budgets and time of the project would be also important.
>>Correct
The company, I worked, that pursuits its profit, so my knowledge should be utilized through the most efficient way.
>>The company I worked for pursuits its profit, so my knowledge should be utilized through the most efficient way.
Moreover, this ability would be getting focused, if I promoted as a senior.
>>Moreover, this ability would be focused on, if I was promoted as a senior.
Finally, communication skill would be required to be a good businessman.
Finally, communication skill would be required to be a good businessman.
>>Correct
Every work was operated by all staff.
>>All tasks were operated by the staff.
Therefore, without cooperation with colleagues, I could not make the project succeed.
>>Therefore, without cooperation from colleagues, I could not make the project succeed.
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