What can you do to improve your health?

2015-01-20 · 첨삭 강사 Kelly

학생이 쓴 원문

As our life has become abundant, growing number of people have been interested in their health. In other words, they bigin to improve qulity of their lives. To them, money is not the most important determinant to make them happy and rejoice anymore. I can undoubtedly say that health is more vital than other stuff including money, car, house, etc. Of course, thses things are needed to live. But in practice, we are able to live without them; while if we lose our health, we would not only die but also enjoy such stuff. Thus, health is the most crucial for use to live. There are various way to keep our body healthy. I believe that no way is better than exercise to make our body healthy. It help us to train our body and make body stronger and stronger. Also, it prevent our body from aging; thus, we can use our body longer than usual. So, I usually exercise regularily at least 30 minutes a day. In addition, I think that it is good to be in the habit of having balanced diet for our health.

강사 첨삭

Good morning Miss [이름]! I totally agree that health is very vital. There are many ways that we can do to keep fit. We should eat healthy and live healthy. Take care! ~Kelly^^ As our life has become abundant, growing number of people have been interested in their health. >> As our life has become abundant, a growing number of people have been interested in their health. In other words, they bigin to improve qulity of their lives. >> In other words, they begin to improve the quality of their lives. To them, money is not the most important determinant to make them happy and rejoice anymore. >> To them, money is not the most important determinant to make them happy and rejoiceful anymore.I can undoubtedly say that health is more vital than other stuff including money, car, house, etc. >> Correct. Of course, thses things are needed to live. >> Correct. But in practice, we are able to live without them; while if we lose our health, we would not only die but also enjoy such stuff. >> But in practice, we are able to live without them; while if we lose our health, we would not only die but would not enjoy those stuff as well.  Thus, health is the most crucial for use to live. >> Thus, health is the most important for us to live.There are various way to keep our body healthy. >> There are various ways to keep our body healthy. I believe that no way is better than exercise to make our body healthy. >> Correct.  It help us to train our body and make body stronger and stronger. >> It helps us in training and making our body stronger. Also, it prevent our body from aging; thus, we can use our body longer than usual. >> Also, it prevents our body from aging; thus, we can engage in physical activities longer than usual. So, I usually exercise regularily at least 30 minutes a day. >> So, I usually exercise regularly at least 30 minutes a day. In addition, I think that it is good to be in the habit of having balanced diet for our health. >> In addition, I think that it is good to be in the habit of having a balanced diet for our health.  

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