What can you say about the fathers taking more part in caring for their child/children as compared i

2022-06-21 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

It is absolutely a positive movement that men are taking more child care than they used to be. It is still controversial that men and women should be equal in all aspects, althouth both gender have strength and weakness. Some men strongly insist that women don\'t have enough abilities to do physical works. They used to earn money alone for their family in my father\'s generation. Women were mostly housewifes due to social sight and culture. However, it has changed a lot these days. We can easily see a woman sergent in the military, a police and architect. Many people claim that men and women should be treated equally. So, many companies have a policy to hire women in certain portion and couples agree that they do same amount of housechores. I don\'t mind to do these works at home but I have some problem to take care of children because of the lack of strong communion with my children. I get easily tired if my children ask something nonsense. I want my wife to have a time with them more th

강사 첨삭

Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is absolutely a positive movement that men are taking more child care than they used to be. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It is absolutely a positive movement that men are taking a big part in child care than they used to be. 
It is still controversial that men and women should be equal in all aspects, althouth both gender have strength and weakness. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It is still controversial that men and women should be equal in all aspects, althouth both gender have strengths and weaknesses. 
Some men strongly insist that women don\'t have enough abilities to do physical works. 
>> Some men strongly insist that women don\'t have enough abilities to do physical work. 
They used to earn money alone for their family in my father\'s generation. 
>> CORRECT!
Women were mostly housewifes due to social sight and culture. 
>> Women were mostly housewives due to social sight and culture. 
However, it has changed a lot these days. 
>> CORRECT!
We can easily see a woman sergent in the military, a police and architect. 
>> We can easily see a woman sergeant in the military, a police, and architect. 
OR >> We can easily see a woman sergeant in the military, a police, or even an architect. 
Many people claim that men and women should be treated equally. 
>> CORRECT!
So, many companies have a policy to hire women in certain portion and couples agree that they do same amount of housechores. 
>> CORRECT!
I don\'t mind to do these works at home but I have some problem to take care of children because of the lack of strong communion with my children. 
>> CORRECT!
I get easily tired if my children ask something nonsense. 
>> CORRECT!
I want my wife to have a time with them more th
>> I want my wife to have a time with them more than I do.

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