What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why?

2022-03-25 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to change the culture which prefer men. From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line. So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. In contrast, when girls were born, people didn\'t welcome. We can see these in the Korean history movies. I think that this is very bad. Of course it is disappearing now. However, some people still have the culture.

강사 첨삭

Hi Kimberly! 

Yes, there is gender inequality. We should always remember to treat everyone equally. There are a lot of things that women can do as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I want to change the culture which prefer men. 
>> I want to change the culture where in people prefer men in terms of everything. 

From old times, there was a culture which prefer men. 
>> Even in the old times, they usually prefer men in everything. 

Maybe it is because men are strong and can carry on a family line.
>> CORRECT

So, when boys were born, people welcomed them. 
>> CORRECT

In contrast, when girls were born, people didn\'t welcome. 
>> CORRECT

We can see these in the Korean history movies. 
>> We can see this in Korean history movies. 

I think that this is very bad. 
>> CORRECT

Of course it is disappearing now. 
>> Of course, it has already disappeared now. 

However, some people still have the culture
>> However, some people still have this culture

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