What do you expect from the university?

2022-03-04 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

I expect growth in my innermost self from Daybreak university. I just want to be a good person who knows myself. Humans want to see, hear, and speak what they want. It can relate to their relationship with people. It also affects their life. I want to have an awareness of them. Because I want to see, hear, and speak what God wants me to do. Even though I\'m struggling with them deeply by myself, I can not be perfect. So I need to study more. That\'s why I want to study at this university. I love people but I don\'t know how to love people with God\'s love. I think, first of all, I have to understand myself. And then, I can have a good relationship with people. Especially I want to be a good mom to my daughter. I would like to understand her and have a good relationship with her well. Furthermore, at this university, you can learn counseling in Korean. Because most of them are Korean. I can freely express my opinion in Korean. Also, I can have Korean classmates. It will be very exciting! ^^

강사 첨삭

That\'s what I like about you, Jane! You always have a good heart. God bless your more! Way to go!-Faith-
I expect growth in my innermost self from Daybreak university. 
>> I expect growth in my innermost self from Daybreak University. 
I just want to be a good person who knows myself. 
>> CORRECT
OR I would just like to be a good person who understands myself better. 
Humans want to see, hear, and speak what they want. 
>> CORRECT
It can relate to their relationship with people. It also affects their life. 
>> It\'s because it can relate to their relationship with people.
It also affects their life. 
>> CORRECT
I want to have an awareness of them. Because I want to see, hear, and speak what God wants me to do. 
>> In fact, I want to have awareness of them because I want to see, hear, and speak what God wants me to do. 
Even though I\'m struggling with them deeply by myself, I can not be perfect. 
>> Even though I\'m struggling with them deeply by myself, I cannot be perfect. 
So I need to study more. That\'s why I want to study at this university. 
>> So, I need to study more from this university. 
OR So, I want to learn more in this university.
I love people but I don\'t know how to love people with God\'s love. 
>> CORRECT
OR I love people but I don\'t know how to show it in God\'s way.
I think, first of all, I have to understand myself. 
>> CORRECT 
And then, I can have a good relationship with people. 
>> CORRECT
OR Through that, I can build a good relationship others. 
Especially I want to be a good mom to my daughter. 
>> Especially, I want to be a good mom to my daughter. 
OR More importantly, I would like to set myself as a  good example to my daughter.
I would like to understand her and have a good relationship with her well. 
>> I would like to understand her and have a very good relationship with her. 
Furthermore, at this university, you can learn counseling in Korean. Because most of them are Korean. 
>> Furthermore, in this university, you can learn counseling in Korean because most of them are Koreans. 
I can freely express my opinion in Korean. 
>> Certainly, I can freely express my opinion in Korean. 
Also, I can have Korean classmates. 
>> CORRECT
OR Also, having Korean classmates is the icing on the cake.
It will be very exciting! ^^
>> CORRECT

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