What do you like to do in the afternoon?

2022-06-28 · 첨삭 강사 Roanne

학생이 쓴 원문

In the afternoon, I have many things that I like to do. However, I know that I can’t do everything in the afternoon. Above all, In the afternoon, I like to hang out with my brother. Usually I don\'t have enough time to play with my brother. If I have some time, I want to spend more time with my brother. And I also like to play the piano. I want to play the piano as much time as possible because when I play the piano I feel time goes fast. Lastly, I like to read many books in the afternoon. Reading books give me not only a fun but also necessary knowledge and wisdom for life and my schooling. I like to do more things besides those above in the afternoon. However, in the afternoon I have many academies to go and my homework to do. Sadly, I have little time to do what I like to do. From now on, I hope I have more time for what I like to do in the afternoon. Thanks for reading my essay.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Rana! 

Oh, that is nice because you like to spend time with your brother. I hope you can have more free time for yourself. I am also looking forward to have a fun class with you!

Your essay is pretty good! Sentences were constructed correctly. Keep it up!

Thank you and see you tomorrow!

~T. Roanne ^_^

NOTE: THANK YOU FOR MAKING AN EFFORT IN MAKING AN ESSAY. BELOW ARE THE CORRECTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS THAT CAN HELP YOU IMPROVE YOUR SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION. 
==================================================
In the afternoon, I have many things that I like to do. 
>> Correct! OR In the afternoon, I enjoy doing plenty of things.
However, I know that I can’t do everything in the afternoon.
>> Correct! OR But I realize I can\'t do everything in the afternoon.
Above all, In the afternoon, I like to hang out with my brother. 
>> Correct! OR Most importantly, in the afternoon, I enjoy hanging out with my brother.
Usually I don\'t have enough time to play with my brother. 
>> Correct! OR Usually there\'s not enough time to play with my brother.
If I have some time, I want to spend more time with my brother.
>> Correct! 
And I also like to play the piano. 
>> Correct! OR And I enjoy playing the piano, too.
I want to play the piano as much time as possible because when I play the piano I feel time goes fast.
>> Correct! 
Lastly, I like to read many books in the afternoon. 
>> Correct! 
Reading books give me not only a fun but also necessary knowledge and wisdom for life and my schooling.
>> Reading books gives me not only a fun but also necessary knowledge and wisdom for life and my schooling.
I like to do more things besides those above in the afternoon. 
>> Correct! OR I like to do more things besides those things above in the afternoon. 
However, in the afternoon I have many academies to go and my homework to do. 
>> Correct! 
Sadly, I have little time to do what I like to do. 
>> Correct! 
From now on, I hope I have more time for what I like to do in the afternoon. 
>> Correct! 
Thanks for reading my essay.
>> Correct! 

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