What do you think about the adoption system in your country?

2020-10-22 · 첨삭 강사 Jean

학생이 쓴 원문

Couples not being able to conceive positively consider about adoption, and people believe it is essential for abandoned children to provide them a better life condition and protect them until being adults. On top of that, a high standard to be adoptive parents set by the government proves it, so I couldn\'t agree more with it. The Korean government has adopted legislation to give a legitimate guide for them. It\'s known as \'Act on Special Cases Concerning Adoption.\' Children less than 18 years old can be adopted to families that meet all of the requirements under this Act; having sufficient financial assets to raise the adopted child, having no criminal records, giving freedom of religion to them and having the capability to educate and raise him or her as a member of society. In my opinion, adoption system is beneficial for all of the adoptive parents, adoptees and the government as long as adoptive parents read many books for successful raise, to understand him or her inner confusion.

강사 첨삭

Here\'s your edited homework, [이름]!

Cheers,
Jean~~
Couples not being able to conceive positively consider about adoption, and people believe it is essential for abandoned children to provide them a better life condition and protect them until being adults. 
>> Couples not being able to conceive consider adoption, and people believe it is essential to provide abandoned or orphaned children better living conditions and protect them until they become adults. 

On top of that, a high standard to be adoptive parents set by the government proves it, so I couldn\'t agree more with it.
>> On top of that, the mere fact that the government has set a high standard for potential adoptive parents proves the importance given to adoption. 

The Korean government has adopted legislation to give a legitimate guide for them. It\'s known as \'Act on Special Cases Concerning Adoption.\' 
>> The Korean government has passed pieces of legislation to provide a legitimate guide for social services or other agencies and all parties involved in adoption. It\'s known as \'Act on Special Cases Concerning Adoption.\' 

Children less than 18 years old can be adopted to families that meet all of the requirements under this Act; having sufficient financial assets to raise the adopted child, having no criminal records, giving freedom of religion to them and having the capability to educate and raise him or her as a member of society.
>> Children below 18 years old can be adopted into families that meet all of the requirements under this Act; having sufficient financial assets to raise the adopted child, having no criminal records, giving freedom of religion and having the capability to educate and raise the said child as a member of society are just some of the eligibility requirements for adoptive parents. 

In my opinion, adoption system is beneficial for all of the adoptive parents, adoptees and the government as long as adoptive parents read many books for successful raise, to understand him or her inner confusion.
>> To my way of thinking, an adoption system is beneficial for all parties involved, i.e. adoptive parents, adoptees, and the government as long as the adoptive parents are well-informed or well-read about how to successfully raise and understand the child. If the adoptive parents could raise a well-adjusted and well-loved child, so much the better. 

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