What do you think is the leading cause of death around the world? Why do you think so?
학생이 쓴 원문
Many things can lead the cause of death.
For example, trrafic accident, drug addiction, safty accident etc can lead the cause of death.
Usually the reason of accident is the carelessness.
If you act carefully, you can obstract the acccident.
Of course some elements cannot obstract. Because the others cause the accident
So first of all the most important way to obstract the accident is carefully acting yourself.
강사 첨삭
Hey there Vincent!
You gave interesting points on your answer.I agree with you, its the \'prevention\' which matters and not the \'cure\'. :p
We could still practice on some vocabulary to help you express yourself even better.
Please check out the corrections below.
See you later!
~~T. Heidi _^-^_
Many things can lead the cause of death.
>>Many things can lead to death.
>>Many things can cause death.
For example, trrafic accident, drug addiction, safty accident etc can lead the cause of death.
>> For example, traffic accidents, drug addiction and other vices, accidents and others can be the cause of death.
Usually the reason of accident is the carelessness.
>>The cause of accidents is usually carelessness.
>>Or: Usually, the cause of accidents is carelessness.
If you act carefully, you can obstract the acccident.
>>If you act carefully, you can avoid accidents.
>>Or: If you are carefull, you can avoid accidents.
Of course some elements cannot obstract.
>>Of course some elements cannot avoid this.
Because the others cause the accident
>>Because other people could be the cause of accidents.
So first of all the most important way to obstract the accident is carefully acting yourself.
>>So first of all, the most important way to avoid accidents is to be careful.
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