What do you think is the most common crime in your country?

2022-08-02 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why? The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault. Most criminals’ target are women. The reason why this crimes don’t decrease is low-level government punishment. So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea. Also ‘Death Penalty’ is need for criminals. If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased. But someone think it is inhumane. But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Harry!
Thank you for writing this beautiful essay.
I loved reading your opinions in relation to the question.

I also agree that death penalty should be reinstated because it has a stronger impact on criminals.
Anyhow, I hope you\'re doing great. See you in class tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry :)

The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault.

>> CORRECT!

Most criminals’ target are women.

>> CORRECT!

The reason why this crimes don’t decrease is low-level government punishment.

>> The reason why this crime doesn\'t decrease is because of the light punishment the government gives.

So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> So I think heavier punishment should be given in Korea.

Also ‘Death Penalty’ is need for criminals.

>> Also, ‘death penalty’ is necessary for criminals.

If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased.

>> When reinstated in South Korea, the crimes will strikingly decrease.

But someone think it is inhumane.

>> But some people think it\'s inhumane.

But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.

>> But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than innocent people.

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