What do you think is the most important thing to make a happy family?
학생이 쓴 원문
It is a common belif that keeping close between family members causes good family relations. However, there is a more pursuasive argument that we should keep our distance properly from our family. This is because we need the peronal time and keeping too close between family members interrupt our privacy. although we are a family, we should respect individual\'s opnion. In fact, In korea, there are few parents who respect their young children\'s opnion. Sometimes, they even force their chcildren to act that they want. So, I think that we, koreans, need to change our mind. To sum up, the most important thing to make a happy family is recognizing everyone\'s idea because we have the right to act freely without pressure. If we consider all family member\'s thoughts, they feel grateful each other and they will certainly become a happy family
강사 첨삭
Good evening Kevin!
Your family is the reason why you are here on Earth. Treasure them and make them proud. Show them how you love them too. Remember to place punctuation marks at the end of your sentences and check your spellings as well. ^^
~T. Maine
>>It is a common belief that keeping close to family members leads to good relationships.
However, there is a more pursuasive argument that we should keep our distance properly from our family.
>>However, there is a more persuasive argument that tells us to keep our distance properly from family members.
This is because we need the peronal time and keeping too close between family members interrupt our privacy.
>>This is because we also need our personal time and keeping too close to them may interrupt our privacy.
although we are a family, we should respect individual\'s opnion.
>>Although we are a family, we should still respect an individual\'s opinion.
In fact, In korea, there are few parents who respect their young children\'s opnion.
>>In fact in Korea, there are few parents who respect their children\'s opinions.
Sometimes, they even force their chcildren to act that they want.
>>Sometimes, they even force their children to do what they want instead of giving them freedom.
So, I think that we, koreans, need to change our mind.
>>So, I think we, Koreans, need to change our minds.
To sum up, the most important thing to make a happy family is recognizing everyone\'s idea because we have the right to act freely without pressure.
>>To sum up, the most important thing to make a happy family is recognizing everyone\'s ideas because we have the right to act freely without any pressure from parents.
If we consider all family member\'s thoughts, they feel grateful each other and they will certainly become a happy family
>>If we consider all family members\' thoughts, they feel grateful for each other and they will certainly become a happy family.
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