What do you think is the most serious health problem in Korea?

2014-08-27 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

Koreans’ health conditions have improved dramatically since the end of the Korean War. Life expectancy is 77 years and 84 years for men and women, respectively in 2013, which is one of the highest rates among East Asian and Southeast Asian countries. The death rate has been significantly declined as well. Nevertheless, serious health problems still remain these days. The main cause of death is cancer, followed by cerebrovascular disease, cardiac disorder, suicide, and diabetes, which are typical diseases of developed countries. They are rapidly becoming the primary causes of death. The tensions and social dislocations caused by rapid urbanization and fierce competition apparently increased the incidence of mental illness. The suicide rate is the second highest rate among OECD countries. Korea has a quite good medical insurance program for all the citizens, funded by the government and employees. However, it is still a heavy burden for an individual to pay a medical bill.

강사 첨삭

Hello Sir [이름] ^^ Good evening! I think life expectancy depends on a person\'s lifestyle. Cancer is really a big problem for people. It is because it is asymptomatic, you will be able to find out that you have the disease once it is already on the last stage. So the only way for the medical practictioners to help patients is to reduce the pain that they are experiencing. They will only be given some medications that will help them feel better.Thanks for your essay again. Have a great night, Teacher Nina   Koreans’ health conditions have improved dramatically since the end of the Korean War. >> CORRECT! Life expectancy is 77 years and 84 years for men and women, respectively in 2013, which is one of the highest rates among East Asian and Southeast Asian countries. >> CORRECT! >> OR: Life expectancy for men is 77 years and 84 years for women, respectively in 2013, which is one of the highest rates among East Asian and Southeast Asian countries. The death rate has been significantly declined as well. >> CORRECT! Nevertheless, serious health problems still remain these days. >> CORRECT! The main cause of death is cancer, followed by cerebrovascular disease, cardiac disorder, suicide, and diabetes, which are typical diseases of developed countries. >> CORRECT! They are rapidly becoming the primary causes of death. >> CORRECT! The tensions and social dislocations caused by rapid urbanization and fierce competition apparently increased the incidence of mental illness. >> CORRECT! The suicide rate is the second highest rate among OECD countries. >> CORRECT! Korea has a quite good medical insurance program for all the citizens, funded by the government and employees. >> CORRECT! >> OR: Korea has a quite good medical insurance program for all the citizens which funded by the government and employees. However, it is still a heavy burden for an individual to pay a medical bill. >> CORRECT!

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·