What do you value more: experience or education?
학생이 쓴 원문
Experiences are more valuable than education for me. I usually watch youtube contents about advising youth people. They tell their experiences to hope that young people deal their lives better. One of their advices is travel. They recommend to go travel many countries. So, I used to visit several countries during my vacation. I have visited in England, France, Switzerland, Italy and Japan. When I enter the graduate school, I had two month vacation. So, I traveled Europe for two weeks. This experiences expand my views and thinking. I wouldn\'t have this expansive perspection and dreams, if I didn\'t travel. This experiences help me when I work and study. So, experiences are better value for me than education, which do only seat indoor room.
강사 첨삭
Hello Ji[이름], I truly appreciate your long and expressive answer! You always put real effort into your homework, and I love how deeply you share your personal reflections. This response shows not only your English practice but also your life wisdom. You connect education, experience, and travel in such a meaningful way. Yes, some grammar corrections were needed, but your honesty and depth of thought make your writing powerful and inspiring. I admire how you expressed your travel stories in detail and it shows your passion for learning from real experiences. I’m proud of how you express yourself so openly and deeply.
~ T. Lia
Experiences are more valuable than education for me.
>> CORRECT
I usually watch youtube contents about advising youth people.
>> I usually watch YouTube content that gives advice to young people.
They tell their experiences to hope that young people deal their lives better.
>> They share their experiences in the hope that young people can handle their lives better.
One of their advices is travel.
>> One of their pieces of advice is to travel.
They recommend to go travel many countries.
>> They recommend traveling to many countries.
So, I used to visit several countries during my vacation.
>> So, I visited several countries during my vacations.
I have visited in England, France, Switzerland, Italy and Japan.
>> I have visited England, France, Switzerland, Italy, and Japan.
When I enter the graduate school, I had two month vacation.
>> When I entered graduate school, I had a two-month vacation.
So, I traveled Europe for two weeks.
>> So, I traveled around Europe for two weeks.
This experiences expand my views and thinking.
>> These experiences expanded my views and thinking.
I wouldn\'t have this expansive perspection and dreams, if I didn\'t travel.
>> I wouldn’t have this broad perspective and these dreams if I hadn’t traveled.
This experiences help me when I work and study.
>> These experiences help me when I work and study.
So, experiences are better value for me than education, which do only seat indoor room.
>> So, experiences are more valuable to me than education, which only takes place in indoor classrooms.
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