What do you want to achieve for your health in the next 5years?

2021-01-19 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

Today, people consider their health a lot, because our environment is getting worse and many kind if diseases come up everyday. Therefore, I am planing to have two new habits and settle them in next 5 years. First, I will not angry at anybody as much as possible. Mistly, I have been exhausted after I was angry at someone or something. Exporing anger needs plenty of energy. Second, I will drink at least 6cups of water. I havn\'t enjoyed drinking juice, water and other liquid thing except coffee. Those two things are that I should achive in next 5 years.

강사 첨삭

Good morning Young Won!

These two things are very achievable. If you have a supportive environment and a very good self control, these are good as done.

I will track your improvement too, don\'t worry. =)

Stay fit, healthy, and happy always.

-T. Donna =)

Today, people consider their health a lot, because our environment is getting worse and many kind if diseases come up everyday.
>> Correct! 
Or> Remove comma (,); many kinds of...

Therefore, I am planing to have two new habits and settle them in next 5 years.
>> Therefore, I am planning to have two new habits and settle them in the next 5 years.

First, I will not angry at anybody as much as possible.
>> First, I will not  be angry with anybody as much as possible.

Mistly, I have been exhausted after I was angry at someone or something. Exporing anger needs plenty of energy.
>> Correct!
Or: Spelling: Mostly; Exploring

Second, I will drink at least 6cups of water.
>> Correct!

I havn\'t enjoyed drinking juice, water and other liquid thing except coffee.
>> I haven\'t enjoyed drinking juice, water, and other liquid things except for coffee.

Those two things are that I should achive in next 5 years.
>> Those two things are what I should achieve in the next 5 years.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·