What factors do you think will maintain your interest in this company?

2021-09-17 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

The opportunity to work in a client-oriented environment within a financial service firm would keep my interest in this position. I feel a high level of motivation when I could assist the clients in their weaknesses and facilitate their growth. Alongside this, as an international finance major, I always wished to work within a financial service firm and equip the skills that are critical in assisting clients in the fast-paced financial market. Combining these two factors would have the synergy effect where I could feel high-level contribution, achievement, and growth.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for all of these Aciel! Keep them coming!

The opportunity to work in a client-oriented environment within a financial service firm would keep my interest in this position. 
>>> correct   
I feel a high level of motivation when I could assist the clients in their weaknesses and facilitate their growth. 
>>> correct   
Alongside this, as an international finance major, I always wished to work within a financial service firm and equip the skills that are critical in assisting clients in the fast-paced financial market. 
>>>  OR: Alongside this, as an international finance major, I always wished to work within a financial service firm and be equipped with the skills that are critical in assisting clients in the fast-paced financial market.   
Combining these two factors would have the synergy effect where I could feel high-level contribution, achievement, and growth.
>>>  correct  

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·