What hobbies are popular in your country?
학생이 쓴 원문
There are many different hobbies people enjoy, but in my opinion, Jogging and playing instruments are enjoyable hobbies.
First of all, there is a famous river in Korea., called Han river. Thus, many jog along the river. Jogging is a kind of healthy exercise which
people can easily try. Also, when I was a kid, going to the piano academy was a one of famous things for elementary school students.
Therefore, around me, there are plenty of friends who learned to play piano, including me. I think it was considered as a trend at that time.
However, though I learned it a long time ago, It is clear that that experience remained me a interest for music. As a result, I\'ve still loved to play different instruments.
강사 첨삭
Hey, Su In! I really like how you explained the hobbies that are popular in your country! You expressed your ideas very well; just a few small grammar improvements will make your answer even better.
~T. Jenna
There are many different hobbies people enjoy, but in my opinion, Jogging and playing instruments are enjoyable hobbies.
There are many different hobbies people enjoy, but in my opinion, Jogging and playing instruments are enjoyable hobbies.
>>There are many different hobbies people enjoy, but in my opinion, jogging and playing instruments are enjoyable.
First of all, there is a famous river in Korea., called Han river.
First of all, there is a famous river in Korea., called Han river.
>>First of all, there is a famous river in Korea called the Han River.
Thus, many jog along the river.
>>Thus, many people jog along the river.
Jogging is a kind of healthy exercise which people can easily try.
Correct, or
>>Jogging is a healthy activity that is simple and accessible for anyone to try.
Also, when I was a kid, going to the piano academy was a one of famous things for elementary school students.
>>Also, when I was a kid, going to a piano academy was one of the popular activities for elementary school students.
>>Also, when I was a kid, going to a piano academy was one of the popular activities for elementary school students.
Therefore, around me, there are plenty of friends who learned to play piano, including me.
>>Therefore, plenty of my friends around me learned to play the piano, including me.
I think it was considered as a trend at that time.
>>I think it was considered a trend at that time.
>>I think it was considered a trend at that time.
However, though I learned it a long time ago, It is clear that that experience remained me a interest for music.
>>However, though I learned it a long time ago, it is clear that the experience gave me an interest in music.
As a result, I\'ve still loved to play different instruments.
>>As a result, I still love playing different instruments.
***
In my country, some of the most common hobbies are jogging and playing musical instruments. For example, the Han River is a well-known place where many people go jogging, since it is both healthy and accessible. In addition, learning instruments such as the piano has been quite widespread, especially among children, because it has often been seen as both educational and enjoyable. These hobbies continue to be trendy and are widely practiced by people of different age groups.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.