What holiday in another countries do you wish to also be celebrated in your country? Why?

2021-03-15 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

I would say Christmas. We also celebrate the day as well but more commercially, and I wish Christmas would be more family-gathering events. The family could gather to close the year. There are not many occasions that families could get together as the children get older. They could gather at Christmas to share the story of difficulties and success and start the new year cheerfully.

강사 첨삭

Hello Aciel. Thank you for this. Like a year-end party for companies, Christmas could serve as a gathering for families before the year ends.
- T. Beth
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I would say Christmas. 
>>> correct   
We also celebrate the day as well but more commercially, and I wish Christmas would be more family-gathering events. 
>>> OR:  We also celebrate that day but in a more commercialized way, and I wish Christmas would be more of a family gathering event.  
The family could gather to close the year. 
>>> correct   
There are not many occasions that families could get together as the children get older. 
>>> OR: There are not many occasions where families could get together as the children get older.    
They could gather at Christmas to share the story of difficulties and success and start the new year cheerfully.
>>>  They could gather on Christmas to share the story of difficulties and success and start the new year cheerfully. 

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