What I wanted to learn when I was younger.

2019-11-27 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

I wanted to learn swimming when I was younger. I had a chance to learn swimming for hobby, but I didn\'t do well. Trainer recommended me to learn more, but my mother wanted me to quit. Although I couldn\'t learn swimming perfectly, I know how to swim across the pool. Last July, I finally succeeded to do backside swimming. The hilarious point is, I did my first backside swimming in the hot spring. I went to the sauna with my friends, and there were some hot springs. There were various water which has different temperature to others. I choose the cold water, and I swam in there. In fact, It is not allowed to swim in the hot spring, but I did it because there were nobody except my friends. However, one of my friend advice me to relax my body when I try backside swimming. It was difficult to relaxing my body, so I failed several times. In the result, I succeeded to backside swimming. If I get a job, and earn enough money, I will learn swimming regularly.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thanks for your thoughts here. I appreciate the effort! ^ ^
Wow! I have the same in mind. I would really love to learn how to swim too! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

I wanted to learn swimming when I was younger. 
>>CORRECT
I had a chance to learn swimming for hobby, but I didn\'t do well. 
>>CORRECT
Trainer recommended me to learn more, but my mother wanted me to quit. 
>>CORRECT
Although I couldn\'t learn swimming perfectly, I know how to swim across the pool. 
>>CORRECT
Last July, I finally succeeded to do backside swimming. 
>>Last July, I finally succeeded to do backstrokes.
The hilarious point is, I did my first backside swimming in the hot spring. 
>>The hilarious part is, I did my first backstroke in the hot spring. 
I went to the sauna with my friends, and there were some hot springs. 
>>CORRECT
There were various water which has different temperature to others. 
>>There were various pools with different water temperature.
I choose the cold water, and I swam in there. 
>>I chose the cold pool and swam there.
In fact, It is not allowed to swim in the hot spring, but I did it because there were nobody except my friends. 
>>In fact, swimming is not allowed in the hot pool, but I did it because it was only me and my friends there.
However, one of my friend advice me to relax my body when I try backside swimming. 
>>However, one of my friend advice me to relax my body when I try backstrokes.
It was difficult to relaxing my body, so I failed several times. 
>>It was difficult to relax my body, so I failed several times.
In the result, I succeeded to backside swimming. 
>>As a result, I succeeded with the stroke.
If I get a job, and earn enough money, I will learn swimming regularly.
>>CORRECT

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