What impact has social media had on family dynamics and interpersonal relationships?
학생이 쓴 원문
Social media has fundamentally changed how we communicate ever since it was introduced. People have gotten into the habit of sharing their daily lives online. I am no longer embarrassed to see people busy taking photos of their food before eating just to post them on social media. It often feels as though people are competing to show off how happy their lives are. While I hope they are genuinely happy, I doubt that is always the case. Instead, social media seems to be fraught with performative happiness. People have become more conscious of others\' lives than their own happiness. In some respects, people seem sadder and more dissatisfied than ever, despite having access to unprecedented technological and societal advancements. At this point, I cannot help but ask: what are the true benefits of social media? What good does it actually bring family dynamics ? Are these advantages really more enough to outweigh its drawbacks on relationships? We\'re to deal with SNS very carefully.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Steve!
This is a very thoughtful and engaging composition. I like how you explored not only the benefits of social media but also its impact on people\'s emotions and relationships. Your questions at the end encourage the reader to think more deeply about the topic, which makes your writing very effective.
Excellent work! This is a mature and well-developed piece of writing.
~Teacher Polly
>>CORRECT
People have gotten into the habit of sharing their daily lives online.
>>CORRECT
I am no longer embarrassed to see people busy taking photos of their food before eating just to post them on social media.
>>CORRECT
It often feels as though people are competing to show off how happy their lives are.
>>CORRECT
While I hope they are genuinely happy, I doubt that is always the case.
>>CORRECT
Instead, social media seems to be fraught with performative happiness.
>>CORRECT
People have become more conscious of others\' lives than their own happiness.
>>CORRECT
In some respects, people seem sadder and more dissatisfied than ever, despite having access to unprecedented technological and societal advancements.
>>CORRECT
At this point, I cannot help but ask: what are the true benefits of social media?
>>CORRECT
What good does it actually bring family dynamics ?
>>What good does it actually bring to family dynamics?
Are these advantages really more enough to outweigh its drawbacks on relationships?
>>Are these advantages really enough to outweigh its drawbacks on relationships?
We\'re to deal with SNS very carefully.
>>We need to use social media very carefully.
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