What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much?

2022-08-11 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

Korean workers spend 500,000 won on average on Chuseok. That expenses include pocket money for their parents and relatives and homemade foods for our ancestors. We can\'t help but give money to their parents, because their parents usually don\'t have jobs and they spent a lot of money raising their children. Also, they should give money to our nephew or niece because we got money from our aunt or uncle when they were young. Then, to save our money on Chuseok, they should turn their eyes to food. Most wives cook in their house all day on Chuseok. Of course, Making food by themselves is cheaper than eating out. But, the problem is that we purchase a lot of food for cook, and waste the food. I\'ve heard the news that food waste occurred a lot after Chuseok. So, I think we can rather save money if we eat our or have dinner delivered. If it occurs, we can also expect a decreasing number of a conflict between a wife and husband.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for making time to answer your homework, Cleo! My tips for formal writing is that, avoid the use of \"a lot,\" avoid contractions, and have pronoun consistency. You can do it! Happy Chuseok in advance!-Faith-
Korean workers spend 500,000 won on average on Chuseok.
>> CORRECT
That expenses include pocket money for their parents and relatives and homemade foods for our ancestors.
>> The expenses include pocket money for their parents and relatives and homemade foods for our ancestors.
We can\'t help but give money to their parents, because their parents usually don\'t have jobs and they spent a lot of money raising their children.
>> They can\'t help but give money to their parents because their parents usually do not have jobs and they spent too much money raising their children.
Also, they should give money to our nephew or niece because we got money from our aunt or uncle when they were young.
>> Also, they should give money to their nephews or nieces because they got money from their aunt or uncle when they were young.
Then, to save our money on Chuseok, they should turn their eyes to food.
>> Then, to save their money on Chuseok, they should turn their eyes to food.
Most wives cook in their house all day on Chuseok.
>> Most wives cook in their houses all day on Chuseok.
Of course, Making food by themselves is cheaper than eating out.
>> Of course, making food by themselves is cheaper than eating out.
But, the problem is that we purchase a lot of food for cook, and waste the food.
>> However, the problem is that they purchase a lot of food to cook, but end up wasting them.
I\'ve heard the news that food waste occurred a lot after Chuseok.
>> I have heard the news that food waste occurs more after Chuseok.
So, I think we can rather save money if we eat our or have dinner delivered.
>> Therefore, they can save money if they eat all of the foods or have their dinner delivered.
If it occurs, we can also expect a decreasing number of a conflict between a wife and husband.
>> If it occurs, we can also expect a decreasing number of conflicts between a wife and a husband.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·