What is the most important thing in your life at the moment? Explain why you say so.
학생이 쓴 원문
The most important thing in my life at this moment is to stay healthy and my parents’ wellbeing.As long as I am healthy, I can try it again and stand on my own feet again even if I fail. If we lose our healthy, we will lose everything. The sad thing is that as we are getting older, there is higher possibility of getting fired, but we don’t have energy or strength to get back on track because we become much weaker. Youth is something that we cannot buy with money.It doesn’t matter how rich you are, you can’t live an eternal life. Every person has many problems such as with money, relationships, business, etc. However, the most difficult issue to resolve is a health problem.If you are still young, you may regard the issue of getting a job, getting a promotion, being successful at work, or dating a beautiful girl as the important things. However, all those things are just meaningless if you reach a certain age. We are well aware that life is short and what we should give priority to.
강사 첨삭
Good evening and happy hump day, Sir [이름].
I am so thankful that you alloted some time to write an essay.
You reminded me to be healthy. Hihihi. ^^ I sometimes forget about it because of my other problems.
Thanks to you. I totally agree with you. Even if you have a milliionaire, you will use all of the money you saved when you get sick.
We have to always be careful with the things we eat.
We should have a healthy lifestyle in order for us to have a longer life.
I hope that you will always be healthy. See you in class.
Teacher Nina
The most important thing in my life at this moment is to stay healthy and my parents’ wellbeing.
>> correct
As long as I am healthy, I can try it again and stand on my own feet again even if I fail.
>> correct
If we lose our healthy, we will lose everything.
>> If we lose our health, we will lose everything.
>> OR: If we get sick, we will lose everything.
The sad thing is that as we are getting older, there is higher possibility of getting fired, but we don’t have energy or strength to get back on track because we become much weaker.
>> Better: The sad thing is that as we are getting older, there is higher possibility of getting fired, but we don’t have the energy or strength to get back on track because we become much weaker.
Youth is something that we cannot buy with money.
>> correct
It doesn’t matter how rich you are, you can’t live an eternal life.
>> correct
Every person has many problems such as with money, relationships, business, etc.
>> correct
However, the most difficult issue to resolve is a health problem.
>> correct
If you are still young, you may regard the issue of getting a job, getting a promotion, being successful at work, or dating a beautiful girl as the important things.
>> correct
However, all those things are just meaningless if you reach a certain age.
>> correct
We are well aware that life is short and what we should give priority to.
>> Better: We are well aware that life is short and what we should give priority to it.
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