What is the purpose of the matchmaking events organized by local governments?

2023-07-17 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

Aging and low fertility rate is really serious social problem in Korea. Korea is ranked first on the low birth rate in the world. Couples don\'t want to have babies because of the financial burden, child care after giving birth and their different sense of value about their life compare to older generation. In addition, many people don\'t want to get married because they don\'t want to be bothered from anybody at home. They would like to do anything without any interference. Most of young people would like to have better work-life balance regardless of salary. It would be ok for them to maintain their life with small salary because they are not going to have their partner. I can understand why young people give up having babies, partners and houses in my country because living expenses here is too high and it is almost impossible to buy their own house with only their salary. As I know, most university students have debt because of the expensive tuition fees. They are asked to pay it back

강사 첨삭

Thank you for this Sir [이름]!

Aging and low fertility rate is really serious social problem in Korea. 
>>>   Aging and low fertility rate is really a serious social problem in Korea. 
Korea is ranked first on the low birth rate in the world. 
>>>  correct 
Couples don\'t want to have babies because of the financial burden, child care after giving birth and their different sense of value about their life compare to older generation. 
>>Couples don\'t want to have babies because of the financial burden, child care after giving birth and their different sense of value about their life compared to the older generation.   
In addition, many people don\'t want to get married because they don\'t want to be bothered from anybody at home. 
>>>  In addition, many people don\'t want to get married because they don\'t want to be bothered by anybody at home.  
They would like to do anything without any interference. 
>>>   correct   
Most of young people would like to have better work-life balance regardless of salary. 
>>>    correct  
It would be ok for them to maintain their life with small salary because they are not going to have their partner. 
>>>     correct 
I can understand why young people give up having babies, partners and houses in my country because living expenses here is too high and it is almost impossible to buy their own house with only their salary. 
>>>    correct  
As I know, most university students have debt because of the expensive tuition fees. 
>>>    correct   
They are asked to pay it back
>>>     correct 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·