What is your feeling about mandatory military service in your country? Do you think that your countr

2023-01-27 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

All people say with one voice that we\'d better not to go to the army if it is possible. All men who have don\'t have health problem must serve as a soldier in Korea. It is one of the major obligations people should follow. I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a military police. I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect to seniors with weird way and do all the stuffs. It considered as a normal practice that seniors beat and threaten juniors. Although, soldier spent hard time to get millitary trainning, they couldn\'t take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building there, they were not allowed to go home after work. It is a main problem of the military service. However, there is advantage from the military. Most people look back upon their past and then they decided to change their lifestyle in a good way. So many people believe that military service provide the incredible experience that might help peol

강사 첨삭

Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

All people say with one voice that we\'d better not to go to the army if it is possible. 
>> CORRECT! 
All men who have don\'t have health problem must serve as a soldier in Korea. 
>> All men who don\'t have health problems must serve as a soldier in Korea. 
OR >>  All men who don\'t have medical concerns must serve as a soldier in Korea.
It is one of the major obligations people should follow. 
>> CORRECT! 
I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a military police. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> I went to the army when I was 20 years old as a soldier. 
I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect to seniors with weird way and do all the stuffs. 
>> I had a lot of hard time due to the crazy culture that juniors had to run all the time, respect seniors ina weird way, and do all the stuffs. 
It considered as a normal practice that seniors beat and threaten juniors. 
>> CORRECT! 
Although, soldier spent hard time to get millitary trainning, they couldn\'t take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building there, they were not allowed to go home after work. 
>> Although soldiers spent hard time to go to the military training, they couldn\'t take a rest very well because they needed to stay in same building, they were not allowed to go home after work. 
It is a main problem of the military service. 
>> It is the main problem of the military service. 
However, there is advantage from the military. 
>> However, there is an advantage from the military. 
Most people look back upon their past and then they decided to change their lifestyle in a good way. 
>> Most people look back upon their past and then they decide to change their lifestyle in a good way. 
So many people believe that military service provide the incredible experience that might help peol
>>  So many people believe that military service provides the incredible experience that might help people change for the better.

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