What is your greatest fear?
학생이 쓴 원문
In our life, it doesn’t matter how well we make a plan in advance and how well we prepare, something that we hadn’t expected or predicted can come up all the time.If everything happened as we projected, we could do something beforehand to minimize the impact or we can at least be ready psychologically even if we actually cannot do anything.What makes me feel fear is that my current happiness and peaceful life could be ruined by something like my or my family’s health problem, losing my job, or any accidents of my family members. Losing or earning more money is not as important as my family’s well-being.So, it is of critical important for all of us to manage risks of our life, although we are not able to control all of them. Risk management is not for big enterprises, but should apply to our personal life as well. As I stated earlier, anything can happen on the contrary to our wishes, but when we identify and prepare for the risks, we can lessen the negative impact of such occurring
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon and happy Monday, Sir [이름]!
How was your weekend? Is it raining in your city?
I totally agree with your ideas. Health is really important.
We have to make sure that we eat a well-balanced diet and exercise.
Take care. See you in class.
Teacher Nina
In our life, it doesn’t matter how well we make a plan in advance and how well we prepare, something that we hadn’t expected or predicted can come up all the time.
>> correct
If everything happened as we projected, we could do something beforehand to minimize the impact or we can at least be ready psychologically even if we actually cannot do anything.
>> correct
What makes me feel fear is that my current happiness and peaceful life could be ruined by something like my or my family’s health problem, losing my job, or any accidents of my family members.
>> Better: What makes me feel scared is that my current happiness and peaceful life could be ruined by something like one of my family members has a health problem, losing my job, or accidents of my family members.
>> OR: My fear is that my current happiness and peaceful life could be ruined by something like one of my family members has a health problem, losing my job, or accidents of my family members.
Losing or earning more money is not as important as my family’s well-being.
>> correct
So, it is of critical important for all of us to manage risks of our life, although we are not able to control all of them.
>> So, it is of critical importance for all of us to manage the risks of our life, although we are not able to control all of them.
Risk management is not for big enterprises, but should apply to our personal life as well.
>> correct
>> OR: Risk management is not only for big enterprises, but it should apply to our personal life as well.
As I stated earlier, anything can happen on the contrary to our wishes, but when we identify and prepare for the risks, we can lessen the negative impact of such occurring
>> As I stated earlier, anything can happen on the contrary to our wishes, but when we identify and prepare for the risks, we can lessen the negative impact of it.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.