What is your most dangerous experience in life?

2022-06-14 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

One thing popped up when I was in Australia. I went to a river to cross for three days. My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map. The weather was so lovely and clear. Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught. It was fine for canoeing. It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank. But I was nervous. This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. I needed some more trials to start. Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to. to be continued...

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!  

I would love to hear the rest of it tomorrow. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

One thing popped up when I was in Australia.
>> One thing that popped up in my mind and that is when I was in Australia. 

I went to a river to cross for three days. 
>> I crossed a river for 3 days. 

My friends and I rented a canoe and packed some camp equipment. 
>> CORRECT

At the river, human hands made nothing, and we just held a map that someone drew. 
>> There were no man made things there. We just held a map the someone drew. 

We ought to freely go canoeing for 3days without a guide, GPS, navigation system or motor boat but the silly map.
>> CORRECT

The weather was so lovely and clear. 
>> CORRECT

Well, it was scorching, but I had already got used to the weather there. 
>> CORRECT

And the river had quite enough current because it was at the end of the wet season. 
>> CORRECT

So it rained a lot for the past few months, yet draught.
>> It was raining for the past few months, yet it was still draught. 

It was fine for canoeing.
>> Everything was fine when we were canoeing. 

It happened at the very beginning, about 30mins after we left the bank.
>> CORRECT

But I was nervous. 
>> Although, I was nervous at that time. 

This was my first time canoeing on the vast river, especially for a few days, so I was quite a bit stupid at the beginning of the journey. 
>> CORRECT

I needed some more trials to start.
>> CORRECT

Well, however, the current never let me as I wanted to.
>> However, the current never let me have the control that I wanted to. 

to be continued.
>> To be continued. 

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