What is your opinion about violence in TV, movies, and video games? Suggest a way to stop this.
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Nowadays, television and movie, video games are becoming more and more violent in order to become popular.
>> Correct
Many children are exposed violent easily and It effects on their emotional development.
>> Many children are exposed to violence easily and it effects their emotional development.
The government have to stiffen a child media protection to stop from violent of media.
>> The government have to stiffen a child media protection to stop violence off of media.
Also, their parents force not watching TV or movie indiscriminately to children.
>> Also, parents should enforce limit in watching TV or movies. (I\'m not sure what you meant by this phrase, \"indiscriminately to children\'.)
Lastly, the school makes children recognized the seriousness of violent.
>> Lastly, the school has to let children recognize the seriousness of violence.
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