What is your opinion of gender equality?
학생이 쓴 원문
I think gender equality is no discrimination in job and social responsibility.
I want to talk about our country\'s issue of gender.
In Korea, gender equality is really hot issue.
The feminism is coming our country and people argue about this subject.
Because male must go army for social responsibility.
And normally, Government and corporate give them a plus score when they get a job.
Normal army\'s term are two-years.
So it was reward for soldier.
But some female oppose this and they said \"it\'s not equality\".
A lot of male are spend their time of youth in army.
But now, government and company didn\'t give reward.
It\'s unfair and not gender equality.
I think we change the law about army.
Someone want to go to army, they go their.
Not important about gender.
Army needs both gender.
But a few female of feminism makes reverse discrimination.
Human follow the talent when they choice job or something.
That\'s equal of gender.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Simon! Great job with your homework today! Until the next one! :)
I want to talk about our country\'s issue of gender.
>>CORRECT
In Korea, gender equality is really hot issue.
>>In Korea, gender equality is really a hot issue.
The feminism is coming our country and people argue about this subject.
>>The feminism is coming to our country and people argue about this subject.
And normally, Government and corporate give them a plus score when they get a job.
>>And normally, the government and corporate businesses give them a plus in their score when they are applying for a job.
Normal army\'s term are two-years.
>>The normal army\'s term is two years.
So it was reward for soldier.
>>So, it is a reward for the soldiers.
But some female oppose this and they said \"it\'s not equality\".
>>But some females opposed this and they said \"it\'s not equal\".
A lot of male are spend their time of youth in army.
>>A lot of males spent their time of youth in the army.
But now, government and company didn\'t give reward.
>>But now, the government and companies don\'t give such reward.
It\'s unfair and not gender equality.
>>It\'s unfair and it\'s not a gender equality.
I think we change the law about army.
>>I think we need to change the law to also cater the needs of the soldiers.
Not important about gender.
>>The gender should not be important.
Army needs both gender.
>>The army needs both gender.
But a few female of feminism makes reverse discrimination.
>>But some females of feminism make reverse discrimination.
Human follow the talent when they choice job or something.
>>Human should follow their talent when they want a job or something.
That\'s equal of gender.
~Teacher Sheila
I think gender equality is no discrimination in job and social responsibility.
>>I think gender equality means no discrimination in jobs and social responsibilities.
>>I think gender equality means no discrimination in jobs and social responsibilities.
I want to talk about our country\'s issue of gender.
>>CORRECT
In Korea, gender equality is really hot issue.
>>In Korea, gender equality is really a hot issue.
The feminism is coming our country and people argue about this subject.
>>The feminism is coming to our country and people argue about this subject.
Because male must go army for social responsibility.
>>Because males must go to the army as a social responsibility.
>>Because males must go to the army as a social responsibility.
And normally, Government and corporate give them a plus score when they get a job.
>>And normally, the government and corporate businesses give them a plus in their score when they are applying for a job.
Normal army\'s term are two-years.
>>The normal army\'s term is two years.
So it was reward for soldier.
>>So, it is a reward for the soldiers.
But some female oppose this and they said \"it\'s not equality\".
>>But some females opposed this and they said \"it\'s not equal\".
A lot of male are spend their time of youth in army.
>>A lot of males spent their time of youth in the army.
But now, government and company didn\'t give reward.
>>But now, the government and companies don\'t give such reward.
It\'s unfair and not gender equality.
>>It\'s unfair and it\'s not a gender equality.
I think we change the law about army.
>>I think we need to change the law to also cater the needs of the soldiers.
OR >>I think we need to change the law to also cater the needs of men.
Someone want to go to army, they go their.
>>If someone wants to go the army then they may go.
>>If someone wants to go the army then they may go.
OR>>If someone wants to have a military service, then they may go.
Not important about gender.
>>The gender should not be important.
OR>>It doesn\'t matter on what gender it is.
Army needs both gender.
>>The army needs both gender.
OR>>The army needs both men and women.
But a few female of feminism makes reverse discrimination.
>>But some females of feminism make reverse discrimination.
OR>>But some females of feminism are making reverse discrimination.
Human follow the talent when they choice job or something.
>>Human should follow their talent when they want a job or something.
That\'s equal of gender.
>>That\'s the equality of gender.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.