what is your priority?
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!!! thanks for this composition. I tried to check some of your sentences but the though is vague. I suggest try practicing how to organize your thoughts before writing down your sentences. On the other hand, some of the sentences are great and correct. Just keep on practicing.
Lei J
When I met people, I am somtimes asked what is your priority?
>>I sometimes the priority of a person when I meet them.
I answered 'My family'.
>>correct
Family is important to us.
>>correct
When we got stressed we are looking for someone who can share our expriences which gave us stress.
>>When we get stressed we look for someone whom we can talk to about the things that gives us stress.
That stress is really big I couldn't do anything and we got lost what do we do like that.
>>When the stress is really great I couldn뭪 do anything, or do the things that I wanted to do.
Family is good enough.
>>correct
They can accept our problems even if I made big mistakes.
>>correct
There are a lot of events related with families.
>>correct
Some commited violence to their families, and kiied or some abandon their babyes like that.
>>Some are violent towards their families, or some abandon their babies.
When I heard those news,I got shocked.
>>When I heard about those news, I got so shocked.
It should have never happen.
>>correct
Sadly, It's getting increase.
>>Sadly, these cases are increasing.
It's a trend that we take life lightly.
>>correct
I felt scared.
>>correct
That trend will be a big problem.
>>correct
We don't need many things to fix that problems.
>>We don뭪 need to do a lot of things to fix these problems.
We just think that where do we from.
>>We just need to think where we came from.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.