What kind of information are you comfortable releasing to the public?
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t want to provide my personal information when I join a website because there are a lot of new about scam cases. Criminals sell people\'s information to scammers who use personal data for fraud. Actually, I don\'t know how many websites I joined. It means that I am exposed to the potential scam because someone can use my information without any notification. Koreans used to put much information from registration number to address, sex and age in website but it has changed to put the minimum information these days. Major companies in online use it for their profit without any payment and permission from customers. Those information can be used in various ways that show individualized advertisement, invent new products and provide public services. Although, there are advantages using information, it must be prevented because there are a lot of victims who suffer from scams. I want government to control it strictly.
강사 첨삭
Good day, Sir [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
I don\'t want to provide my personal information when I join a website because there are a lot of new about scam cases.
>> I don\'t want to provide my personal information when I join a website because there are a lot of news about scamming cases.
Criminals sell people\'s information to scammers who use personal data for fraud.
>> CORRECT!Actually, I don\'t know how many websites I joined.
>> CORRECT!It means that I am exposed to the potential scam because someone can use my information without any notification.
>> It means that I am exposed to the potential scammers because someone can use my information without any notification.
OR >> It means that I am exposed to the scammers and I can be a potential victim because someone can use my information without any notification.
Koreans used to put much information from registration number to address, sex and age in website but it has changed to put the minimum information these days.
>> CORRECT!Major companies in online use it for their profit without any payment and permission from customers.
>> Major companies online use it for their profit without any payment and permission from customers.
Those information can be used in various ways that show individualized advertisement, invent new products and provide public services. >> CORRECT!
Although, there are advantages using information, it must be prevented because there are a lot of victims who suffer from scams.
>> CORRECT!I want government to control it strictly.
>> I want the government to control it strictly.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.