What makes me Happy😁
학생이 쓴 원문
We all want to be happy. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. What makes you happy? In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. We want to release our stress so much. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! ^_^
Thank you for doing your homework~
You were able to make good sentences.
Keep it up, dear!
- T. Rina
1. We all want to be happy.
>> CORRECT!
2. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more.
>> So we try to find some methods to be happier and to laugh more.
3. What makes you happy?
>> CORRECT!
4. In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
>> CORRECT!
5. First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns.
>> CORRECT!
6. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive.
>> CORRECT!
7. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns.
>> CORRECT!
8. We want to release our stress so much.
>> We want to relieve stress so much.
OR: We want to reduce stress so much.
9. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns.
>> CORRECT!
10. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
>> CORRECT!
12. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
13. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released.
>> When we are with our family, we become comfortable and relieved.
14. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared.
>> When we are relieved, we become happy because when we are with the people who make us feel comfortable, our concerns disappear.
15. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
>> So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know well and who make them feel comfortable.
16. In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns.
>> CORRECT!
17. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
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