What makes someone beautiful?
학생이 쓴 원문
Everyone wants to be beautiful. So they buy a new clothes, new cosmetics, and change their hairstyle. Then, what makes people beautiful? In my opinion, I think their personality make them beautiful. First, we think people who are kind is beautiful. Because they are good to people, they has a good first impression to people. First impression is really important because people\'s attitude depends on first impression. Second, we can buy better appearance by cosmetic surgery but we can\'t buy good personality. And I think things that we can\'t buy with money is valuable than things that we can buy with money.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]~
You have made very good sentences.
Keep it up!
- T. Rina
1. Everyone wants to be beautiful.
>> CORRECT!
2. So they buy a new clothes, new cosmetics, and change their hairstyle.
>> So, they buy new clothes, new cosmetics and change their hairstyles.
3. Then, what makes people beautiful?
>> CORRECT!
4. In my opinion, I think their personality make them beautiful.
>> In my opinion, I think their personalities make them beautiful.
5. First, we think people who are kind is beautiful.
>> First, we think people who are kind are beautiful.
6. Because they are good to people, they has a good first impression to people.
>> Because they are good to people, they have a good first impression to people.
7. First impression is really important because people\'s attitude depends on first impression.
>> CORRECT!
8. Second, we can buy better appearance by cosmetic surgery but we can\'t buy good personality.
>> CORRECT!
9. And I think things that we can\'t buy with money is valuable than things that we can buy with money.
>> And I think things that we can\'t buy with money are more valuable than the things that we can buy with money.
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