What makes you want to stay in your town for a very long time or even forever?

2022-06-02 · 첨삭 강사 Gina

학생이 쓴 원문

My town, Ganghwa Island, have four adventages to stay long. First, it\'s near to Seoul, Airport and KTX station even it is in countryside. I usually don\'t enjoy to play in big city, but sometimes I have to go business meetings. It is covenient to move places. Second, there is a few high buildings and apartments. So it is easy to see the whole town at my home where is located in a hill. Third, it takes only 5 to 10 minutes to go to school. When I live in city, it took minium 1 hour to go to work. It was so tiring and irritating to drive. Third, there are so many wonderful programs for the old. I heard the support fund for the old is top around those same sized town in my country. So my mom love those stretching classes or knitting classes for the old people. Last, the students are very pure and good than in the city school. You know, I work in school, so it is very important. The students here are warm-hearted, kind and have passion to do some activities that I suggest.

강사 첨삭

Good evening, Arissa! 

Thank you for telling me about your town. With the advantages you mentioned, indeed it\'s a great place where to settle down. 
It\'s great that you have a nice transportation system and good housing. That would definitely help people decide to stay there. 
I think the third reason is really awesome especially for the elderlies. The welfare system for them is really good. I wish we could replicate that system here in my place.
I\'m also glad to know about the fourth reason. I think, when the youth in a town has good qualities or characteristics, the future of that town will be really bright. 
I\'m happy that you saw all these beautiful features of your town. ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina


My town, Ganghwa Island, have four adventages to stay long. First, it\'s near to Seoul, Airport and KTX station even it is in countryside. I usually don\'t enjoy to play in big city, but sometimes I have to go business meetings. It is covenient to move places. Second, there is a few high buildings and apartments. So it is easy to see the whole town at my home where is located in a hill. Third, it takes only 5 to 10 minutes to go to school. When I live in city, it took minium 1 hour to go to work. It was so tiring and irritating to drive. Third, there are so many wonderful programs for the old. I heard the support fund for the old is top around those same sized town in my country. So my mom love those stretching classes or knitting classes for the old people. Last, the students are very pure and good than in the city school. You know, I work in school, so it is very important. The students here are warm-hearted, kind and have passion to do some activities that I suggest.

>> My town, Ganghwa Island, has four advantages for people to stay longer. First, it\'s near Seoul, Airport, and KTX station, even if it is in the countryside. I usually don\'t enjoy playing in a big city, but sometimes I have to go to business meetings. It is convenient to move places. Second, there are a few high buildings and apartments. So it is easy to see the whole town at my home, which is located on a hill. Third, it takes only 5 to 10 minutes to go to school. When I lived in the city, it took a minimum of 1 hour to go to work. It was so tiring and irritating to drive. Third, there are so many wonderful programs for older people. I heard the support fund for the older people is on top compared to those same-sized towns in my country. So my mom loves those stretching classes or knitting classes for older people. Last, the students are very pure and good than in the city school. You know, I work in school, so it is very important. The students here are warm-hearted, kind, and passionate about doing some activities that I suggest.

>> Or:
My town, Ganghwa Island, has four advantages for people to stay longer:
It\'s near Seoul, Airport, and KTX station, even in the countryside. I usually don\'t enjoy playing in a big city, but sometimes I have to go to business meetings. It is convenient to move places.There are a few high buildings and apartments. So it is easy to see the whole town at my home, which is on a hill.It takes only 5 to 10 minutes to go to school. When I lived in the city, it took at least an hour to go to work. It was so exhausting and annoying to drive.There are so many outstanding programs for the elderly. I heard the support fund for the senior citizens is the best compared to those same-sized towns in my country. So my mom loves those stretching classes or knitting classes for older people.The students are very pure and more pleasing than in the city school.

You know, I work in school, so it is imperative. The students here are warm-hearted, kind, and passionate about doing some activities that I suggest.

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