What matters more to you: gifts or people being there to celebrate your birthday
학생이 쓴 원문
Of course, I prefer that people being there to celebrate my birthday.
As I have lived for 45 years, I feel that having someone with me is most precious among everything.
Even if my work is very hard If someone is near me I can endure it.
강사 첨삭
Hello Joey, your writing is very heartfelt and touching. It clearly shows how much you value relationships and companionship more than anything else. I like how you connected your birthday celebration to your life experience, expressing that being surrounded by people who care about you is what truly matters.
I made small grammatical adjustments to make your sentences smoother. For example, I removed “that” in the first sentence to make it sound more natural, and I added commas in the last sentence to separate the ideas clearly. I also changed “most precious among everything” to “the most precious thing of all,” which sounds more natural in English.
I really appreciate your sincerity in this response. You expressed deep emotions in a very natural way, and I can feel the honesty and warmth behind your words. Keep writing like this because your ability to express feelings so openly makes your English writing both meaningful and beautiful.
~ T. Lia
Of course, I prefer that people being there to celebrate my birthday.
>> Of course, I prefer people being there to celebrate my birthday.
As I have lived for 45 years, I feel that having someone with me is most precious among everything.
>> As I have lived for 45 years, I feel that having someone with me is the most precious thing of all.
Even if my work is very hard If someone is near me I can endure it.
>> Even if my work is very hard, if someone is near me, I can endure it.
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