What mechanisms are necessary for people to go through in order to succeed in life?

2023-08-21 · 첨삭 강사 Divina

학생이 쓴 원문

Above all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life. So the prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times. For example, Korea used to want their workers to be as diligent as they can. So my father and his coworkers worked lots of overtime and even went to work on Saturday. But now Korea seems to want their workers to be smart enough to contribute to the company\'s profits or values more directly. So workers need to know how to improve the figures of accounts of the company no matter what department they work for. They have to be more productive than the budget they waste including workforce or anything intangible the company gets ready for them. And they are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work. In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others to be of help for your company or succeed in life.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Steve!

Thank you for answering your homework!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Above all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life.
>>First of all, we need to know what our society needs to succeed in life.

2. So the prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times.
>>The prerequisite to be successful in life can be different from societies and times.

3. For example, Korea used to want their workers to be as diligent as they can.
>>CORRECT! 

4. So my father and his coworkers worked lots of overtime and even went to work on Saturday. 
>>So, my father and his coworkers worked overtime for a lot of time and even went to work on Saturdays. 

5. But now Korea seems to want their workers to be smart enough to contribute to the company\'s profits or values more directly.
>>CORRECT!

6. So workers need to know how to improve the figures of accounts of the company no matter what department they work for. 
>>So, workers need to know how to improve the company\'s figure no matter what department they\'re working for. 

7. They have to be more productive than the budget they waste including workforce or anything intangible the company gets ready for them.
>>They have to be more productive than the budget they waste, including workforce or anything intangible that the company gets ready for them. 

8. And they are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work.
>>They are also encouraged or often urged to help or lead other companions to join their productive mindset or process of work.

9. In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others to be of help for your company or succeed in life.
>>In short, Koreans need to be equipped with a sense of accounting, and conversation skills to influence others for the benefit of the company and one\'s life.

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