What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why?

2021-10-30 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster. First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan. In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert. And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous. Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks. In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees. So China\'s forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea. So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the most worst disaster.
>> In the world, there are various kinds of natural disasters, and I think yellow dust is the worst one. 

First, yellow dust is usually occured in China, and it come to Korea and Japan.
>> First, yellow dust is usually from China. 

In China, there are a lot of deserts and even tough there is the world second largest desert, Gobi desert.
>> In China, there are a lot of deserts and like  second largest desert, Gobi desert.

And the problem is there are some kinds of heavy metals so they make a human body very dangerous.
>> The problem is that there is some kind of heavy metals in the sand that can be harmful to humans. 

Also nowadays, it is going worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks.
>> Nowadays, it is going to be worst because of disposable wooden chopsticks. 

In South Korea, people are using about two billions five hundreds millions disposable wooden chopsticks
>> CORRECT

To produce those chopsticks, we have to use many trees.
>> CORRECT

So China\'s forests are being deserts and so a lot of yellow dust is coming to Korea.
>> CORRECT

So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to do not use those chopsticks, and we should have a interest about this problem.
>> 
So if we want to stop this disaster, we should try to not use those chopsticks, and  have interest about this problem.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·