What’s a good topic to talk about over a drink with a friend?
학생이 쓴 원문
There are many topics to talk about like sports, music, food, and so on
If someone has a baby or children like me, most parents talk about children’s education.
Korean parents are heavily interested in education.
We talk about what our children study, where to go to academy and how much they study.
But in the end, our conversation is how to earn a lot of money so that we provide them with various education.
So we always look forward to winning lottery.
강사 첨삭
Hi Joey, your writing is very expressive and realistic. You described everyday conversations among parents in a very relatable and natural way. The ideas flow smoothly from general topics to a humorous ending about winning the lottery, which makes your paragraph enjoyable to read.
I made only small adjustments to improve the grammar and naturalness of your sentences. For instance, I added a comma after “to talk about,” changed “where to go to academy” to “which academy they should go to,” and added “the” before “lottery.” These small corrections help your sentences sound more fluent and accurate in English.
I truly appreciate the effort you put into this homework. Your response is long, detailed, and full of genuine expression. It shows that you’re not only practicing grammar but also writing with a personal voice. Keep it up!
~ T. Lia
There are many topics to talk about like sports, music, food, and so on
There are many topics to talk about, such as >> sports, music, food, and so on.
If someone has a baby or children like me, most parents talk about children’s education.
>> CORRECT
Korean parents are heavily interested in education.
>> CORRECT
We talk about what our children study, where to go to academy and how much they study.
>> We talk about what our children study, which academy they should go to, and how much they study.
But in the end, our conversation is how to earn a lot of money so that we provide them with various education.
>> But in the end, our conversation is about how to earn enough money to provide them with various educational opportunities.
So we always look forward to winning lottery.
>> So we always look forward to winning the lottery.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.