What\'s good about the place where you were born?

2024-08-12 · 첨삭 강사 Divina

학생이 쓴 원문

I was born in Seoul, but I\'ve been live in illsan. So I want to say good things about illsan. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named 일산호수공원 is best for me. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. Second I love a library near my house. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. Also I like the space to read book. Lastly illsan is safe for me. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!

Thank you for doing your homework. Have a good night!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I was born in Seoul, but I\'ve been live in Illsan. 
>>I was born in Seoul, but I\'ve been living in Illsan ever since. 

2. So, I want to say good things about Illsan. 
>>CORRECT!

3. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named 일산호수공원 is best for me. 
>>First, there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. The lake park named 일산호수공원 is especially the best for me. 

4. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. 
>>I feel calm and refreshed whenever I walk there.

5. Second I love a library near my house. 
>>Second, I love this library near my house. 

6. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. 
>>This library specializes in flowers so everyone can read lots of books regarding flowers.

7. Also I like the space to read book. 
>>Also, I like the space to read a book. 

8. Lastly Illsan is safe for me. 
>> Lastly, Illsan is safe for me. 

9. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.
>>I have lived here my whole life, so the atmosphere is good for me. l also like the scent here.

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